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Monday, October 24, 2005
12:55 PM
on leave now..
..wedi nose bleed after lunch 4 15 mins... record timing... after using tissue to block it, i don't of feeling of it flowing, so i talk it out.. Alas! a great volime of blood fell into the basin.. haiz... the prob is getting worse...
thursi bleed twice today.. haiz.. need to go NUH soon.. can't wait 4 27... but i have guard duty on that day 2.. haha.. busy day..
saturday......kenneth bdae is fun, haha... but he oso quite pro, ate two times of buffet.... haha.. so full after the first one that he need the toilet badly...haha.. xq and i walk here and there , but din't really see any suitable shirt for our dear friend..... AT LAST, metro is the place to be... haha.. xq say its very nice, tried on and even say wanna buy one 4 himself.. haha.. ask me to take photo somemore..but its really nice..
haha before that, was thinking of a retro, bright orange, bright pink flowery shirt.. haha.. but we think that he won't dare to wear so we din't buy, luckily din buy that.. haha..
after so time, wk reached, cl reached, went to century arcade to play world combat(fav game),went to play pool 4 a while, then kenneth called , said that he free liaoz, so we procced to tm to meet him and angela we saw him and the other choir mates, and surprisingly have wayne.. haha..still the "yoyo" look.. our dear kenneth was having a bad stomach , then angela bought bao ji wan...
we move off to mrt, and i was stunted cos yp appear beside me suddenly! haha.. so the 7 of us moved on.... when we reach marina, we found out that pris was taking the same train as well!!! so coincidental...haha.. steph is already there..then hw and her younger cousin, jia hui, arrived.. we then go over to have steamboat, ju reached, fj and ms reach later...we ate quite a lot... iwas walking to get stuff, and then my left leg stepped into a small pool of water and got my shoe wet.. sad.. haha...
interesting part is here... i was trying to be naughty and steal from ju's plate, then steph was taking some stuff, and when she draw back her arm, her elbow hit the upper arc of my eyes! haha.. ouch! then is very funny, she kept apologising and try to help me rub the affected area, but instead, she rub my forehead.. WAHAHA!!!!! i'm sure she got lots of calcium in her sia.. haha...
after eating, we went over to a nearby arcade and played..then..... i spotted derrick watching his friends playing datona 2.. haha.. all botaks, remind me of bmt sia.. haha..then the gals went over to have a look and take photo..very funny..all the little fans inside them.. haha..
we went to play table soccer and world combat, again.. haha.. then, we left the arcade present all the present to ken.. he look very hiphop with the chain and jacket and 3/4 pants..haha.. its a pity that the area there do not sell cakes... haiz.. not as perfect as we thought it'l be... but but but!!! he is happy that's most important... haha...
lastly, in the train..
all of us were in a small comparment speaking & laughing very loudly then ken hold and lift(bao qi lai) ms in his arms to take photoes of acting couple... haha... everyone is looking at us in the train.. haha...
sundaywatch gigalo with my best buds, laoda(ccl4), lao er(wk) and xq=p funny, super funny..play initial d ver2.. fun.. enjoy..
monday...(today)book in lo.. that's all folks! mao'l be back..
kei zai was here.
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Sunday, October 16, 2005
9:16 PM
ask me, why i liked to blog late at sat night... well.. its a night that i don't like to slp, its a night that 'l make me think of a lot of things... its a night of inspirations and feel...hw ask me an interseting question...initially i tried to avoid it, but after a while, i think deeper, that's right! i'm restricted in the first place, its wrong to like her in the first place... seeking personal unhappiness without cause.... but , now, it still seems that i really can't help it.. haha.. i really hope the testi i wrote for xq worked 4 myself too... but but but! i'm starting to get over it painfully slowly, slowly painfully... so wat?!? this is my personal war! fight! resist! i'm just average. values. personalities. ALL DIFFERENT! DO U UNDERSTAND??? i do, i really do.. i'm starting to be torn apart as well! no one should be my float now! its unfair! control yourself! look at u, wat have u been? a pathetic baby, crying on the floor over something u can't get... GROW UP! this is so childish! when'l u grow up? still young? serving in NS for the 10 th month, still acting like a child!wat's the use of having a 19teen yr old body, but equiped with a 8 yr old brain?? useless!
i noe, i fear, i don't dare to try cos i noe the result.. one of my classmate asked me, why does her boyfriend, does not want to offically ask her to be her girlfriend? despite everything is already so understood? i said its difficult to say it out.why?its just difficult.
as i answer, the memories two yrs ago haunt me.. why i din't ask? why does things have to turn out this way? i can't even talk to her when i see her... i'm guilty for hurting her, an eye contact is difficult, reading her letter, it really make me feel an ache in my heart..at that moment, i really should not had said that to her, at her mom's disapproval, i back out, or mayb i'm just selfish...then, my classmate said"u noe, gals are afraid to be hurt..."
well said... but does that means that guys are not? if u ask the question to the wrong person, u lose her permanently.. if she's the one, just ask it, u don't lose a thing... she'l be happy... guys, that is a confirmation question, its very important to ask despite it mayb embarrassing, be brave this once.. don't be like this writer ...till today, there are a lot of regrets in me, a lot of wrong decisions made, wrong timing in doing certain things, doing wrongs things at the wrong time, mood swings, selfish. it really make me look back today, before anything i do.. if starting a new relationship'l cause another pain, i do not have the courage to start...i do not want to be hurt or hurt, nits painful for everyone.. two yrs ago, its a torment to 'break", now its a torment to love.. haha.. this is stupid... u must find this cheesy...haha haha haha!!! yes! this is stupid! this is the stupid foolish me! a lot of ppl says, to have bgr is just for companionship... it'l not be till marriage anyway... then wat's the whole pt!? if marriage is not the final destination, then a painful breakup is inevitable.. wat for!? this is hurting urself and the other party whom u love once..if one or the other party is not prepared for a relationship that last, one should rather be single, or else, one'l be creating pain to both party..today wayne's musical is great! outstanding! marvelous! it really make me think, can my life have a good ending as well?? is everyone given a second chance in their life? i went to enjoy the concert with hw, two lovebirds(hx&galfriend)..envy.. haha..the musical is about a gal's dream to be the best, biggest model from singapore in New York.. she is filled with fantasy of power , fame, and wealth.. she is there, she make it big, with big sacrifices made as well... but she have taken an u-turn in her life.. she realise its not as promising afterall... its not worth it.. that's true, power, fame and wealth won't last, but ppl just want more of that.. this include the stupid me... the male lead actor said,"she is annoying, but i think she is cute..." irony? it happens.. strange huh?? haha.. love makes a person weird... haha, just that, is a gd or bad weird that's all... i'm weird... i'm getting more and more weird.. haha.. i'm don't understand myself, my friends noe me better than i do.. or i just choose to lie to myself, not accepting facts??
i have been lying to myself long enough, since p6, i hid myself in a mask of laughter, smiles. taking it off is not often,, sometimes i don't really whether i'm really feeling happy when i smile or laughed sometimes i wear it to face myself too...
well.. that's enough 4 today! haha.. don't worry guys, i'm ok.. just writing some trash to vent some emotions... haha.. nt all r true, i love to exaggerate.. haha.. have been writing since 2.. tired le.. haha..
kei zai was here.
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Friday, October 07, 2005
3:42 PM
CHEATED!!!!!was supposed to have outfield..... went there with everything liaoz, then was called back after lunch, was told that its postponed to next week... haiz.... when i'm appointed as the driver for the first time, it's cancelled!!!.. sad... y???? so sad.. next week is five day somemore.. it was supposed to be this week four days next week three days.. now its continuous five days.... i may not be holding driver role this time.. haiz..(mon)challenge my own limit...i ran 10 k plus last night.. haha.. none stop lez.. first time.. haha.. but i ran 4 around 1 hr.. v.slow.. need to train harder...
kei zai was here.
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Sunday, October 02, 2005
4:03 PM
today was great... the live fire is really exciting.. the driving is fun too. have not been driving for such dist for so long le.. super happy!! was so happy that i hyper ventilate... haha.. le ji sheng bei... haha... when the bomb fire.. the whole vehicle shakes... very exciting...as the bomb fly away from the barrel, pieces of exploded just rain down.. smoky...the amazing thing is that the barrel released smoke after the firing and the entire barrel get really hot..
guys, last week's posting was a bit exaggerating, haha... but, if u choose to believe it, it'l be true, if not its not.. haha..
ly, u r rite... i'l miss hk.. haha.. food...cousins..relatives..
tomolo'l book in for outfield as enemy 4 the other companies.. hope its fun=p
kei zai was here.
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