wedding!!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
11:52 PM
just come back from wee hua's wedding.. so cute, the couple.. haha.. the ceremony was very enjoyable and comfty.. suddenly found out that roses are really very nice..haha.. so happy for them, but wedding oso very tiring.. both of them look tired..haha... but its worth la, once in life time.. today pastor sim told me about life planing.. very meaningful..
i think that i think too much, i'm actually very fortunate!
kei zai was here.
*
may i have a pair of wings??或者，继续走下去？
1:06 AM
may i have a pair of wings? pls?
so that i can fly to a place where, there is no trouble or suffering, pain or emptiness..
to a place so far, so high, where i can almost embrace the stars, a place where stars are my only companions.
to a place where u 'l not vomit out wat u eat or can't even taste food cause u'l have the urge to vomit instantly, a place where u won't feel terriblily hungry yet u can't eat cos u'l puke
to a place where headache does not exist and haunt u everyday
to a place where i can't really think, where nightmare doesn't exist at all?
i'm weird, crazy, noisy, talkative, childish, loser, coward, weak, troublemaker, useless, low self esteem, can u, the reader find more? possiblily..
this world, mayb if i mia is a gd idea huh? a more quiet and peaceful world?
wat is yiki? how does this thing change thru time? bad to worse? like wat the guy say" wah, you have been in here for so long le, can play until like that only ah" so, this thing, start to run, fast, but apparently, still can't run away from its state of uselessness..if this thing doesn't exist at all, hmm, mayb our dear earth is a better world, hor? this place, where izzt? sounds far, but to fly there , quite near..
izzt it great, flying in the darkest and coldest night, where the warmth of the small little star and moon ray can be felt.
can u feel it? i think i can.
but, wat 'm i thinking? wat 'm i doing? i dunno , i dunno , idunno!!
so confused, who'm i, wat 'm i , wati'm doing here ?
dreaming, yes, it must be.. its time to wake up lor
sleepy, tired, the above entry is written by such a soul, so is written to be ignored and need not be cared.
if i have the wings, i won't fly, cos i can't , i shouldn't. the place is yet to go.
i should still walk, with confidence, be useful, normal.
God, pls walk, jog, and run with me, back to who i am and should be
i am strong, when i'm on your shoulder, u raise me up to more than i can be我愿意爱，因为上帝先爱我们我要继续走下去，因主啊， 你为我而死。学习你的行为，作盐作光， 尽我本分。虽然我软弱，但有你与我同行，我做得到
kei zai was here.
*
tears in my eyes, blurring my sight....
Sunday, March 12, 2006
1:27 AM
ah...so late liaoz so tired..... my eyelid can no longer hold the tears in my right eye, blurring my sight.... yawnz....
no matter where we are, the stars and the moon, we share the same sky... no matter who you are, what u do, how you live, we have the same sky... amazing isn't it? Maybe we are from different creed, race, skin colour, background, doing different things, thinking of different matters, worrying about different troubles, the sky is always there for you and me.. although the brightness and the amount of stars may differ, every night, the stars are always there, shining...., shining.......,
thru our eyes, into our heart...hmm...changes....i'm weird... i know that.. sometimes i ponder upon things that had been done, why? why have i did this? why have i did that?
of course.. must look forward, learn and move on.. no point staying at the same place without progress..if not, how to improve and change for the better?? try as much as possible
to embrace the most negative news with the most positive attitute.. i feel different.
i felt that i had changed, getting more and more indifferent everyday... easily agitated, short tempered, frustrated, irritated over things easily... everything doesn't seems to matter anymore... 19 years, what have i been doing? wasting time? fooling around? a clown?what i have i become of? being a coward, running away from a lot fears and phobias, avoiding things that are important and have to be done... lack of confidence and self esteem.. pessimistic, just think that things will turn out bad without even trying... this is what i call childish, when things don't go your way, just sit down on the floor and cry... i think i'm really losing myself.... can't really recognize myself anymore.. but, how much have i changed? this 19 years ....its like i have never grow up before... still behaving like a child..who i'm suppose to be? how am i suppose to behave?what is the point of living on?
my life my path, you set you lead, i carry on i learn.
break away from the cocoon and change.. metamorphosis
in the same starry starry night, i should spread my wings and embrace the light...
kei zai was here.
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